Our second part of the 5 Love Languages Book Summary will discuss each Love Languages and learn some examples on how to express Love in that specific language.
Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
Word of Affirmation is an act of Love that uses “words to build up the other person.”
Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation.
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
These are honest complements and kinds words that we say to our partner. The words will have an encouraging and inspiring effect. Some examples are:
- You look great on that dress.
- I really appreciate your washing the dishes tonight.
- Thank you for spending time with me.
- You should continue painting. You are good at it.
The words should be delivered sincerely and must be said in a soft and kind manner. There is a difference in saying “I love you” versus “I love you?”.
Love Language #2: Quality Time
Quality Time is an act of Love by giving your partner your undivided attention. Sitting together in front of a television is not necessarily having quality time. What matters most is the attention given to your partner.
Having Quality Time doesn’t have to mean going out on expensive dates or engaging in romantic getaways. Quality Time can simply involve having quality conversations and quality activities at home.
A central aspect of quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity…. Togetherness has to do with focused attention.
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
In having Quality Time, the activity being shared is not the main thing. What is important is the emotional connection being made and that you are spending focused time with each other. “The emphasis is on being together, doing things together, giving each other undivided attention.”
Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts
Receiving Gifts is an act of Love that involves giving. This act is very visible and is one of the easiest love language to learn and to express.
While giving gifts usually involves money, the monetary value of the gift is not essential. A gift can be a handwritten letter, a small souvenir from a trip, or a handmade project.
It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him.
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
When giving gifts, don’t wait for a special occasion. Surprise your partner with a gift at anytime of the year.
Love Language #4: Acts of Service
Acts of Service is an act of Love by doing things for your partner. This requires thought, planning, time, effort and energy. Actions such as cooking a meal, cleaning the room, changing the baby’s diaper, doing the groceries, running erands — they are all acts of service.
By acts of service, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her, to express your love for her by doing things for her.
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
This truly means that actions speak louder than words! In today’s society, there is a very thin line on what a husband should do in the house and what a wife should be doing. It is now acceptable that the husband and the wife switch roles. The husband can do household chores. The wife can find work and build her career. What is important is to meet the emotional needs of your partner on whatever roles they have agreed upon.
But a word of caution, the act of service must be given as a choice. It cannot be coerced. Being demanding to your partner or criticizing the act will have a negative effect. Instead, learn to make requests to each other instead of making demands.
Love Language #5: Physical Touch
The last love language is Physical Touch. Since we were babies, a touch has been an expression of love. As we grow older, Physical Touch can mean so much more to others.
Physical touch is not limited to sexual intercourse. Holding hands, kissing, and embracing are also ways of communicating love to your spouse.
The author mentions the common mistake that men often assume that their primary love language is Physical Touch since their desire for sexual intercourse is intense. However, the sexual desire might be just physically based. The desire for Physical Touch much be meeting an emotional need for it to be a primary love language. “If he does not enjoy physical touch at other times and in nonsexual ways, it may not be his love language at all.”
To recap the Five Love Langauges are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
For the next part of our summary, we will discuss ways on how to discover our own Primary Love Language and that of our spouse.
The 5 Love Languages Book Summary
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
