As an engineer, I define love as this:
Love is inversely proportional to expectation.
Meaning, the more expectations you have, the less love you feel. The less expectations you have, the more love you feel.
Let me explain by stating the examples.
During courtship, our expectations are usually low. We don’t expect a text message. We don’t expect a letter. We don’t expect the intentional glance. We don’t expect the gifts. But when these expectations happen, we get knocked off our feet. This is where we think we are most loved.
After courtship, the expectations start to increase. We expect regular calls. We expect gifts in every occasions. We expect full attention. When these expectations happen, then that’s good. But when the expectation fails to happen, we feel unloved. Conflict begins.
In marriage, the expectations are at its highest. It should be happily ever after, right? We expect complete devotion. We expect total understanding. We expect infinite intimacy. When these expectations happen, then that’s good. But when the expectation fails to happen, we feel betrayed. We no longer feel love.
Thus, it is simple to rediscover love.
Lower the expectations.
You will find love again in the smaller things.
